Scale Survivor Gifts

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Naughty-we've been EATING again,haven't we!'

Dieting Motivation.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

What your guitar says about you.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

'Don't they look silly?'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

'I said, now I know why they call you 'Lucky'!'

A holiday maker greets a castaway

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

Those who play with cats must expect to be scratched.

Laundromat has a bin for trash & one for unmatched socks

"Relax, eventually the scar will disappear!"

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

Mindfulness meditation vs. Mindfulness scrolling.

Man following advice on preventing sea-sickness but becoming sea-sick anyway

'Thank you for calling the Coast Guard help line. To sink, press one. To swim, press two…'

"Welcome Back!"

'Oh no, my diet plan's gone pear-shaped!'

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'

"I'd like $50 worth of total silence, please."

Notice on front door: 'We've got one.'

'It's a good thing my glasses were washed overboard!'