Scale Sensation Gifts

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Secretive Weigh In.

Critisize your weight.

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

What your guitar says about you.

Weight Gain Denial

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Please seat to be weighted.

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Woman and scales.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Your weight second opinion.'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'LIAR!'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

Skiers

'You lie!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

Weight Loss Cheat.

Scale SOS!