Scale Sensation Pillows

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

What your guitar says about you.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Please seat to be weighted.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Woman and scales.

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Your weight second opinion.'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'LIAR!'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Skiers

Woman on scales.

'You lie!'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

Weight Loss Cheat.

Scale SOS!

My diet is working! I'm almost down to what I didn't want to get up to!