Scale Scuffer Pillows

'I'll pay you double if you whisper it.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Critisize your weight.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

'LIAR!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

Warranty Void

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"