Scale Scuffer Mugs

'I'll pay you double if you whisper it.'

Critisize your weight.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

'LIAR!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

Warranty Void

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"