Satirical Sovereign Gifts

'Of course I didn't announce the election -- it was a secret ballot!'

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

British savings accounts

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Under new blame.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

Coronavirus Windmills

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

Justice

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

Infected Macron

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'It's true. There was a coup.'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'