Satirical Snicker Gifts

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"That's the preacher's dog."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Theory of Gravity

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

The final proof that they were closer to humans than we ever thought.

"Oh, very well - make that life with the possibility of parole."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

"...and this week, all boardroom tables come with a free, titled Non-Executive Director"

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

Carruthers, I need an objective opinion from a rational person, you know anybody like that?

'We take concerns about billions of pounds of NHS fraud very seriously. In fact I've asked Nurse Miggins to sort it out as soon as she gets back from lunch!'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"We should throw out this hummus. I think it's become radicalized."

Over six thousand spectators attended the final.

Diet.

"I do enjoy group activities."

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

'I'm sorry, but zoning laws only allows roads made out of lo-cal gravel.'

No Bad News

"When I said you needed to give him a more varied diet I DIDN'T just mean all 12 varieties of KRISYSNAX!"