Satirical Snicker Pillows

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"That's the preacher's dog."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Theory of Gravity

The Big Four debate banking ethics

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

The final proof that they were closer to humans than we ever thought.

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

"Oh, very well - make that life with the possibility of parole."

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

"...and this week, all boardroom tables come with a free, titled Non-Executive Director"

Carruthers, I need an objective opinion from a rational person, you know anybody like that?

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

"We should throw out this hummus. I think it's become radicalized."

Diet.

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

"I do enjoy group activities."

Is the safety railing really necessary?

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Over six thousand spectators attended the final.

'We take concerns about billions of pounds of NHS fraud very seriously. In fact I've asked Nurse Miggins to sort it out as soon as she gets back from lunch!'

'I'm sorry, but zoning laws only allows roads made out of lo-cal gravel.'

"When I said you needed to give him a more varied diet I DIDN'T just mean all 12 varieties of KRISYSNAX!"

No Bad News

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.