Satirical_smiler Pillows

"I do enjoy group activities."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Crap from the future.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

The Proust of Twitter

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Trump

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'More government surveillance!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The Monroe Doctrine

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Social media and censorship...

"Fact amnesty"

Honest Voting Stickers

'Twitter for goldfish.'