Satirical Humor Pillows

"I'm rich, you're thin. Together, we're perfect."

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

'Ebola is coming!! Ebola is coming!!'

'Hello, tech support? I can't seem to remove the icons from my desktop.'

'Judge, you say you have awarded my wife £500 a month. That's very generous. Makes me feel I should add a few pounds of my own...'

Man giving a beggar a comb

Moderate and Right-Wing Mitt Romney.

'Do you have any books about men who become alcoholics addicted to internet porn because their wives are always reading?'

Sign reads 'Site Acquired For 1000 New Tescos'.

What Israeli soldiers fear the most...

Trump, triumphant!

'The White House is infringing upon our religious freedom...!'

Japan and China island dispute.

"Now I know why those cruise tickets were so cheap!"

"If atheists don't repent, you'll burn in hell!"

'This will be a short meeting. Ed can't hold his gut in longer than 20 minutes.'

"I'm having trouble contacting your references. They're all in solitary confinement."

Trade Wars....

The Problem with Government Issued Curriculum

Kwick Loans Street Vendor

Gary Lineker Twitter Row with the BBC

Trump

Maid addressing domestic about religion

"Ewwww! They're back!" "Actually we were never really gone"

'Visit Absent Father Christmas' grotto.'

Protected by invisible fence.

'I had to shoot him †he lost another loan to Ditech!'

"Behind every great man there is a great woman."

Sp££d Camera

'At least, we proved our high moral standard - we didn't cry for our moms and we didn't bite the guest team.'

'Let me swear on my grandchildren that our business is 100% legit. We outsourced extortion to the IRS, and assassination to the Pentagon!'

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

"Of course you can have some respect sir, but we don't treat wounded pride!"