Satirical Sketch Collector Gifts

"You know how it is! We got a warhead, they have to get a warhead."

"Objection! Tar and feathering the witness."

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

Feel rejected? Persecuted? Nobody loves you? We have over 100 used cheap handguns on sale for 9.99!

Big Oil.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

Erdogan Replaces Trump on Putin Horse

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

The water desk

American Bombs

US aid to Ukraine

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Slave Drivers.

Democratic Party Access For Under $100.

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'