Satirical Seminar Explorer Gifts

Earl's guaranteed two-step program for managerial success.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Strainspotting

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"You have arrived at your destination."

Monkey Business College

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

Europe

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

The puppet master

Precisely Inprecise

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

Atilla the Hun, sadly neglected by historians for his progressive approach to personnel management.

"Our interview with the author of the best-selling book, 'how I never paid taxes', has been postponed 5 to 10 years."

The Height of Impudence.

Emile Durkheim

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

'So, Bob, we've decided to do some rebranding!'

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

We Are All Supposed to Miss Obama

"I became a boss because I was afraid to become an employee and get a boss like me!"