Satirical Storyline Explorer Gifts

"You can tell you've been promoted over your level of competence when you stop wondering if you've been promoted over your level of competence."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

"You have arrived at your destination."

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

The Height of Impudence.

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'I think we floated a little 'too far' down stream.'

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

'And do you, Cathie, promise to advance Ed's narrative?'

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

'TV on the blink?'

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

Knight in the Elevator

'He decided to celebrate meeting his QOF targets by doing a cartwheel...wrecked his knee and has to wait 26 weeks to see a consultant.'

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

Earl's guaranteed two-step program for managerial success.

Cat books

The little prince is an alien

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"The hardest thing about giving up a life of crime is getting used to relazing at home with a good book."

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"