Satirical Laughter Lover Gifts

"I used to ooze sexuality, but it turned out to just be Chlamydia."

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

"You can outsource homework, but outsourcing a test would be very tricky."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Occu-Pie Mars

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Larry's used art

'That's our mission statement.'

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"States of tofu"

Fly Football