Satirical Joke Lover Gifts

"Your chicken in red wine, sir."

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

Man on toilet playing a fruit-machine in order to win toilet roll

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Crap from the future.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Doggone

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Vegetarian Birds

Trappist Monk Discord

Your lobster was off!

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

What do you suggest we do about this?

'What does it say, Dad?'