Satirical Headline Makers Gifts

Bed bug infestation in France

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"#notguilty."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'