Satirical Afficionado Gifts

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Love at First Sight

"Cat box"

Easter Island legs

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

The Fourth Little Pig

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"All natural snow cones for sale."