Satire Supporter Gifts

Dear Sir, We have misused all of the money that you sent us and we need you to send us more. Thank you, Internal Revenue

'$600 may be a lot for a pair of boots, but this was the best purchase of my life.'

Class Clowns

"It's the only way we could get the vacination programme to pay..."

"Please listen carefully, as my menu options have changed."

'Your insurance will cover your entire operation, but only if performed by our office receptionist.'

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'Unemployee of the month.'

'To hell with the rules.'

'Bill says there's no money in our bank account, but I've still got some blank cheques left.'

'This baby has lots of memory.'

Corona clown car

Man asking what is a stall at the opera

Beggars' sign - 'Firmly believed my own financial newsletter'.

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"Damn, you are smooth."

"I don't know what you're so surprised about. I told you I'd be in the Farmer's arms this evening."

"You're making more at this firm than anyone else whose brain is the size of a walnut."

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"In the 'Woke' world, I can't be overweight, lazy or drink too much - what's not to like?"

Pig choosing a false leg from a butcher.

'I hate these braces!'

'That's what I call women's logic.'

Pick your own fruit - Pick your own nose

Thought balloon becomes inflated ego

"We printed you off our new 3D printer. Which is why you don't get time off, a raise in pay and lunch breaks."

"I was wondering how they planned to vaccinate everyone without putting healthcare workers at risk."

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'You have a disease. Nothing famous I'm afraid.'

'Can I buy you a drink?', 'Thanks, but I'd rather just have the money.'

Evolution in the Era of the Selfie

I think it's about time we both came clean, Fishburn. I am Box 5079 and you have applied for your own job.

'Everything was going my way, and then they have to call a stupid writers' strike!'

"I guess I should not have made my support known for cutting school funding for sports programs, Igor."