Sass Enthusiast Gifts

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

The adoration of the gels.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Be creative...!"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Man in a Tuxedo

'Watch your step, counselor; I can go from zero to bitch in 3.2 seconds.'

Georgian head-dress

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

Judge getting hair done.

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Today's Rapunzel

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"It's not so much a 'power' suit anymore – it's more of an 'happy to be employed' ensemble."

'Here it is, Your cellphone.'

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Women bring a different perspective to watching football.

'When did your breezy disdain turn into sneering condescension?'

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"He spoils them."

Butterfly Bow-tie.

Devil Buying Soul Music