Bit Of Sass Gifts

"You can be whatever you want to be, but you'll probably turn out like me."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

'When did your breezy disdain turn into sneering condescension?'

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

"In other words homogenius."

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I'm not eating that - it hasn't been advertised on the telly...'

"Sleazy listening FM. We always lower the tone."

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

"I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance."

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

'...Ok clothes, for the way you or someone else could live if you chose to, but you don't so you buy the clothes anyway as silly, sassy statement of defiance!'

'Don't you talk back to me like that!'

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

'Sorry, I can't hear you because this jerk in front of me has a really crinkly wrapper.'

"Can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis."

"Have your people get in touch with my people."

"I'm liver spot spice."

"'Lone Wolf"? No babe, you've misread it: my online profile reads 'Love Wolf'!"

A Fact.

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

'The computer's running on at the mouth again.'

A lady teaching a young man to write

Polly want a cracker? Sure. While you're up, get a life.

"Must everything be hormonal? Can't I just be in a bad mood sometimes?"

"What do you think?"

'I told the waiter who I was.' 'Who were you?.'