Sass Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

The adoration of the gels.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Be creative...!"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

Man in a Tuxedo

'Watch your step, counselor; I can go from zero to bitch in 3.2 seconds.'

Georgian head-dress

Judge getting hair done.

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Little Richard

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Women bring a different perspective to watching football.

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"It's not so much a 'power' suit anymore – it's more of an 'happy to be employed' ensemble."

'Here it is, Your cellphone.'

Today's Rapunzel

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Butterfly Bow-tie.

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

"He spoils them."