Environmental Sass Gifts

"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

The New Normal

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Watch your step, counselor; I can go from zero to bitch in 3.2 seconds.'

Healing the Earth

'When did your breezy disdain turn into sneering condescension?'

Council worker sweeping under car.

"When you said you were experimenting with renewable ways to charge your smartphone I thought you meant solar!"

Wind Farm Association birthday cake with windmill candles

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

I heard oil companies just discovered huge reservoirs of oil way under the ground, all around our town. But they can't get at it because President Obama declared the whole region a national monument before he left. Why would he do that? Doesn't he know we use oil to make plastic, and that my Playstation is totally made of plastic? What happens of I ever need to buy a fourth Playstation 4? He's endangering my supply just to save a bunch of trees and mountains and waterfalls and endangered bearico

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

Briquettes

"You can be whatever you want to be, but you'll probably turn out like me."

Fisherman.

"I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance."

Forest Fire Hazard

Hugo Boss is Planning a Vegan Suit!

"Congratulations, Ecological Disaster—it's not often we admit another horseman into the Apocalypse!"

An electric car drives along power cables.

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

'Don't you talk back to me like that!'

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

Koch, Manchin and Republicans

Alan got the feeling he'd be looking for a new job soon.

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

Asbestos Clean-up

Hey, Earth, what's with the hat? Lobal warming.

"It's freaking me out, but they're happy because it's a lot cooler down here than it was up there!"

'Not since that one tree got a restraining order.'

'Don't you dare raise your eyebrows at me young man!'

'Cheeky sods! I'm sure they're mentally dressing us.'

Basketball with a trash can.

"Oh, I understood what you said, Karen. I just really don't care."