Sartorial Jokester Pillows

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"1-1"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Phone Mittens

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Builders fashion range

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

Store sells too short t-shirts.

Suits you Sir!

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"Does this shirt make me look gay?"

Gang of Musicians

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'Tender and Juicy.'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

'You got haberdashed!'

'Can't believe they didn't have your size.'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Summer Reading

"An olive or a twist?"

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

Let's try to get a different sponsor next year.

"He says he's dressing up for summer."