Sartorial Jokester Pillows

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"1-1"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Phone Mittens

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

Builder's Crack T-shirt

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Suits you Sir!

'Tender and Juicy.'

Store sells too short t-shirts.

"Does this shirt make me look gay?"

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

Gang of Musicians

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading

'You got haberdashed!'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Let's try to get a different sponsor next year.

"This is our successful 'Flat Broke Bum' designer suit. Lots of investment bankers and car plant CEO's ordered it!"