Sarcophagus Scholar Gifts

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Wow, Ernie, another previously undiscovered tomb. And it has some unusual images. Is that a picture of the first sandwich? A thumbs up is next to it. The first "like"! Here's a drawing of a family and a heart has been added. The first emoji! This bird looks exactly like one we saw in the last tomb. The first retweet. Could this be the first social media? Yes! And this is how they scrolled!

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I don't know why we try so hard to get the right answers. There isn't even a prize."

'You like my fancy dress? - I'm not wearing fancy dress.'

IMHOtep

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Old ladies trying to remove fig leaf from statue.

"I love college."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

"No, we won't take Greek relic instead!"

Gone to Lunch.

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

I love Classics.

It says not only was he a kind and benevolent ruler, he was a fun type too.

Occasionally, when logic and rational inferences based on experience were not enough, Plato and Aristotle would resort to settling their discourse by other means.

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

"You will never get your math homework done that way mister!"

Eurydice in Elysium

Sisyphus 2021

The Wages Of Sin

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"For today's punishment, you'll be listening to my mom talk about her foot pain."

We lucked out. This one's wrapped in videotape.

'You don't want your son to learn Latin? Don't worry, he's already decided that for himself!'

Medical School. Dean's Office. You were flunking out. Did your midterm exams improve the outlook? I don't know what the prognosis is. They said my test results were inconclusive.

Vulcan

'Have you been on Facebook again?'

'Im culturally deprived. Both my parents are classics professors, and I don't know a think about TV, movies, sports and popular music.'

"I'm thinking of buying a peerage with the money from my second job."