Sarcophagus Socialite Gifts

IMHOtep

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"The club scene is really changing."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

Gone to Lunch.

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'