Doggie Socialite Gifts

'OUT! You can't be one of the girls.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

"The club scene is really changing."

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

A day at the races

Male dog taking a toilet break.

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Social Notworking

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"