Sarcastic Sticker Collector Pillows

Honest Voting Stickers

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

Charles Dickens

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'And the good news is you can finish out your 'Employee-of-the-Month' term before cleaning out your desk.'

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Dog Sticker Family

Pet shop with recipes stand outside.

"Yeah, these things smell disgusting, but if you line your nest with them, you get insulation and it helps to keep the eggs warm..."

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

"Allow me to explain the terms of our easy payment plan."

Bassoon musical instrument.

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

I'm with stupid.

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

Uniformed but Passionate

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

"Watch yourself going up the high street. . . the election canvassers are out in force!"

Decals and stickers for your bike.

"Of course, 'today seems to be dragging more than usual'. You came in on time, for once!"

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'The boss finally noticed me today. He said I should wear deodrant.'

Mower Fraud!

'I should have seen it coming - my best man was her lawyer!'

"Ma'am, are you aware of how many braggy, preachy bumper stickers you've got plastered on the back of your car?"

'I was recently at a baseball game and they were shooting my people out of a gun. When does the madness stop!? You'd never see that happening to the soup folk.'