Sarcastic Santa Fan Gifts

'Ho, ho, hum.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Elfie Stick

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

A Creature WAS Stirring

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Merry Christmas

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Men working (part time).

Pole dancers

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.