Santa Satirist Pillows

'I don't care if it is Christmas...I'm entering by the front door.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Drive-thru Church

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Even More Disciples'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

Out for lunch... GOD

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'