Santa's Diplomat T-Shirts

'I'm negotiatin with Santa Claus the romval of my name from the bad childrens list.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

Landing That Tough Account

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Bipartisan.

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

"There, are you happy?"

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

"How dare you say I am dogmatic!"