Santa's Diplomat Gifts

'I'm negotiatin with Santa Claus the romval of my name from the bad childrens list.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Landing That Tough Account

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

Bipartisan.

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Permission to get to first base denied.

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"What I want for Christmas is to have the day off and watch 'Miracle on 34th Street'."

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

"There, are you happy?"

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.

"How dare you say I am dogmatic!"