Sanskrit Scholar Gifts

"Oh, just hanging out, reading Upanishads."

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

4 Things Yogis Worry About

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"I've got writer's block."

"You call this a constitution?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Thomas Hardy

Truth

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

The World's Biggest Book Club

Cleric with bible briefcase.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."