Samurai Story Aficionado Gifts

The pen is mightier than the sword

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"This is what's known as a book."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Hansel and Gretal

Jacques et Jille

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Decapitated coffee.

Alberich steals the gold

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"