Saloons Gifts

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Out To Lynch

Pampered and poodled.

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

'I'm lookin' for the man who shot m' paw.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

"Who are you callin' a low down snake-in-the-grass? That's upright snake-on-a-barstool to you, mister."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

'I was in one of them tooth for a tooth squabbles.'

"This time lick my entire body."

Trigger Happy hour 5-6

Galoots in cahoots

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

'Hey you two! Take that outside!'

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'