Saloon Fan Gifts

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

"A shot of whisky, a beer chaser, and the current issue of TV Guide, please."

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"What'll ya have?"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"You must be new around here, pardner."

Cattlemans Saloon.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

I could clean up this town if I could keep my gun belt on.

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

Galoots in cahoots

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

'That's the last straw, mister.'

Saloon Selectives

"How goes the farm-raised salmon?"

Trigger happy hour 6 - 7.

'Punch, kick, grapple, bite.' - 'Them's fightin' words!'

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

'EEEEEHA!!' 'WHISKEY!' 'What's the magic word?'

"It's the Florida kid."

Slim's Baroque-Bach Saloon. I know you love classical music, Slim, but