Salon Socialite Gifts

'I don't want a haircut. I'm just looking for a man who will listen to me!'

"Sport on top, a little politics at the sides and news.. "

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"Hello Moira, long time no see."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."