Salesmen Gifts

'Gee lady, when I bought your car, I didn't know you came with it.'

"It's gotten so customers won't take my advice unless they think I'm gay."

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

Appliances. Air Shampoo $49. The air conditioner won't work properly if you don't shampoo the air first!

...and we guarantee the passage of time for the life of the watch!

Windfarm lobbyists will be turned into marshmallow.

'Can I go before you?'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

Maps to people more interesting than you. $5.00.

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

Ace insurance salesman Al Grundy spends the opening day of fishing season trolling for new clients.

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"No thanks. 'The bald spot' is supposed to be there."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."