Salespeople Gifts

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"...if you set aside 2% of your salary for your pension you can retire at 97."

Do you sell cell phones just for making calls?

"...Then he slammed the door on me!"

"It's a very good policy - in fact I've got one myself and I feel quite excited about dying."

'It's an exciting new synthesis of the classical sales approach and the miracle of direct mail.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

'The company health plan doesn't cover surgery, but we do have a guy in sales who is pretty good with his hands.'

'Why can't Sales just High 5 like everyone else?'

'That's right...nothing but big chain...'

'We're developing a more aggessive sales program. Have you ever worked with an attack dog?'

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

'I knew we should have planned our sales strategy in advance.'

'Sorry - we're all out of bikini models and sunsets. How about this calendar of the twelve best calendars of the year?'

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

'Can you demonstrate yet again before my party next week?'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

Horse dealer trying to sell an unfit horse by suggesting that it will keep improving

'You've got to give credit to Jim, he really looks after his customers!'

"Don't knock the magic dust, we got great sales results on the last rollout."

"I got out of sales, it was too "dog eat dog" for me."

"What would it take for me to put you in this car today?"

'This is Borinski. He makes twice as much profit as the rest of us. I just want to know how he's doing that...'

Budget 3D TVs - A Con-artist trying to sell fake 3D TVs with Fish Mobiles suspendedmounted to the TVs creating a false 3D effect.

'I don't understand it - I thought we had a more upmarket demographic!'

Another potential sale lost due to Ted's misguided attempt at humour.

'I see from your resume, that on your last job you were salesperson of the month. Says here that you were given a plague. Do you feel better now?'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"Now they're keeping behind the Joneses!"

"Have you met my rival Grunzberger? He has taken my wife, my house and my car, but I'll make him sorry if he tries to steal my customers!"

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"Actually, I just wanted to buy a small earring but the shop owner was one hell of a great salesman. . ."

"You're the perfect customer and I'm the perfect salesman. A match made in heaven."