Car Salesmen Gifts

"It's got 160 horsepower. That's nearly 260 reindeer."

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

"One of the best hybrids on the market."

'The full history includes all the original letters of complaint to the factory.'

'That's what I'd call eco friendly! Thanks to the new 'B.W.E.' technology, this car has got zero emissions and zero fuel consumption. 'B.W.E.' means 'Build Without Engine'.'

'Do you want Gap Insurance?'

"We now have cars that can drive themselves."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"The uncomfortable ride is designed to distract you from the damage you're doing to the environment."

'I am buying last year's car, today, with next year's money.'

"Why not take her out for a spin? It'll blow your socks off!"

'Herbert, don't you think it's time to buy a new car?'

'The miles per gallon it gets for city driving is an urban legend.'

'No, unfortunately, we don't have a senior discount!'

'I need a car I can't afford.'

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

"No, I don't have one that runs on Ramen Noodles."

"...and the low fuel consumption means the more driving you do the more you save."

"It was owned by a senior citizen. The only things that need replacing are the turn signal bulbs that were always on."

Another potential sale lost due to Ted's misguided attempt at humour.

Selling cars at 0% interest.

"That's nothing. Wait till you see the hood scope."

Car phone.

'It's a hybrid.'

"Excellent gas mileage. You could, like, go where you're more appreciated."

And this is the economy model.

'And here's the toolkit.'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'I was looking for something a little more passive-aggressive.'

"It was just a question of time!"

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'Dang right! ...Oh, you mean the car! Ha, ha, ha, (hic) ha, ha...'

Car saleman to customer: 'It's classified as an off-road vehicle because it's not allowed on the street.'

'This pre-owned beauty has low mileage and most of those were behind a tow truck.'

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!