Car Salespeople Gifts

"The great thing about selling these babies is that if the buyer misses a payment the car drives itself back to our dealership!"

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

Auto Sales. Monster trucks?

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

Got any jaguars?

'Previously owned by a medic? Doctor Livingstone, I presume?'

'For a little less money, we can offer you a manual inflating air bag.'

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

This one has Tom Cruise control

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

"Yes to the burl-wood dash, no to the leather seats."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Mohammad's motors

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."