Automobile Salesperson Gifts

SUV's Off A Gas-Price Cliff

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"It's got the best impact protection in its class. You can drive as carelessly as you like"

"I'd be glad to, but what happened to the car I sold you yesterday?"

"I don't understand it! The dealership told me it was hands-free!"

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

Mohammad's motors

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'God's speed.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'And here's the toolkit.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."