Automobile Salesman Gifts

"Excellent company car. Especially if you work from home."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'God's speed.'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'And here's the toolkit.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."