Sale Sign Survivor Gifts

Man glued to a shop window under a huge 'Closing down sale' poster

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

What price beauty?

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

Dieting Motivation.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"The originator of the office birthday party."

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

Dadonomics

Let's talk about the weather.

"I hate this time of year..."

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

Why are you here?

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'Gee, looks like I'm all out of worms. YOu want to buy a boat?'

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

With the aid of a technical dictionary Colin was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

'The thin person inside you seems to have developed a serious case of claustrophobia.'

Going out of Business Sale! Our 10th Consecutive Year!

The Store That's All Closed-Up

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

Chat host's irritation at 'Hello, how are you?' greeting.