Sale Savvy Gifts

'I guess it was inevitable.'

"That's the last time I go to a sale and yell: 'Wow! 95% off!'"

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

'Almost finished.'

'Sell South Africa!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

Last Chance for Everything.

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'Shove' (at big sale).

"I am in training for the sales."

Cash Rebate

Nethead strip: Sale.com

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

'Setting a low bar helps us to consistently exceed our expectations.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

Winter Sale

"We don't waterboard prisoners any more. We just lock them in a room with a used car salesman."

"If I'm not being too personal, how much do you pay for a cord of wood?"

'What's our policy on begging for sales?'

'Hey we just hit our sales goal...for 1978.'

"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

STRIP Hambone: Computer Estimates