Market Savvy Gifts

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

The Cattle show Week.

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

Money down the drain.

The first unfriendly takeover

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"Sometimes I don't think you're listening to me!"

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'We can still rise to the occasion but, in light of bad press, just not in the company-owned plane.'

CEO, 'The buck stops here & becomes part of my next bonus'.

'If you only knew what your money costs us!'

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

Red Letter Days - Payment of Dividends

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

'I hope this reform really hurts!!'

Man about man: 'John here sells mutual funds and worry beads.'