Investment Savvy Gifts

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'I hope this reform really hurts!!'

A fool and his money is soon someone's business partner

The day the stock market went UP.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Saving for College.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

'Our portfolio is not going anywhere. I'm going to add some transportation stocks to the mix to see if that will move our investments along.'

Money down the drain.

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'I hear the market went on quite a roller coaster ride today.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

Red Letter Days - Payment of Dividends

We cater to the small investor.

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."