Sales-savvy Person Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Computer Estimates

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Toadstools

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."