Salary Comparison Gifts

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'