Salary Explorer Gifts

"I'm quitting banking. The pay's too low."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Between Offices

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'