Job Perk Explorer Gifts

'Don't ask him about our dental plan.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'